How To Help Children Accept Your New Partner
It is very common in the times in which we live that couples have discrepancies, separate, and later redo their lives with another person. Children have to go through a situation of change when the parents separate, but in the minds of the children of divorced parents, the fantasy remains that their parents will reconcile and become a united family; This fantasy seems to end when either mom or dad has a new partner, which for parents can be a new beginning for children is usually an end. Therefore, it is very important to know how to manage the whole new stage of changes in order to help children, and it is normal that under these situations, many contradictory feelings appear that, in most cases, adults tend to want to block. Some of the feelings that usually appear are fear, to be replaced, and that mom or dad no longer heed, anger towards the new person, among other feelings that can lead to isolation, disrespect, school failure, malaise. Today we will give you some tips so that children know how to accept your new partner.
Do not neglect your children: You must ensure that your child does not feel displaced during the first months; later, you can enjoy your new love more intensely. One of the feelings that will arise in the child is that of jealousy, and it is important that good management of them is done.
Do not force situations: Do not pretend that the first weekend the child spends with your new partner is comfortable and willing to do things with her, it is important to respect the times of each child. It is important that each one find their place and fulfill their specific role, without invading or feeling invaded by the other.
Communication: The more you talk to your children and the more questions you answer, the easier it will be to take the situation in the best possible way. Children need their doubts to be resolved in order to fit the new situation gradually. It is important that you constantly talk with him about how he feels, that he needs to be helped, especially in younger children who do not know how to name what they feel and can demonstrate it through tantrums and discomfort it is important that you do not punish them, do not know It is a whim It is an emotional demand.
Make it clear that nobody replaces anyone: Mom will always be mom and dad will always be dad despite the couples that appear, it is important to make clear that your new partner has not come to replace anyone’s place, even when there are situations of death it must be made clear that even though mom or dad has died, no one will replace them. It is also recommended that the child be encouraged to call your new partner by his first name, especially in the case of the little ones so as not to generate confusion.
It has problems that will appear: Especially the older the child, even reaching adolescence, more problems will arise, both in case they reject the new partner or if they like him, in the second the teenager will feel guilty, and that is failing the other side. Do not underestimate the problems, but be prepared for them, one way to get ready is to find yourself in a good mood and with the strength to also help your child in the process.
Do not be afraid to lose your new partner: If he really loves you, he will help you and be patient, do not fear that the person will abandon you due to the situation, there is only one title that is forever and is that of a mom or dad. It is important that your partner does not participate in decisions about the child’s education; he already has mom and dad to do so
Do not force your child to love your new partner: That you love her does not mean that the child has to love her, love cannot be bought or forced to feel it, what you should demand is respect.